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User talk:LavendaBrunette/@comment-5605779-20120626154634
Okay, here it is: “My God, Juliet,” my father mused. “How come you never told me you had feelings for both Stefan and Dimitri?” “I was afraid of what you would think,” I admitted, trying to keep from completely breaking down. “Father, they’re both gone. Dimitri and my husband just walked out of my life, and honestly, I can’t blame them. I-I just strung them along like a fucking whore!” “Honestly, you were wrong to string them along,” he began, “but who do you want to be with? Stefan or Dimitri?” His facial expression was concerned, not angry with me about my actions. I felt as if everyone I cared about had abandoned me. My mother was dead, my husband had left me and Dimitri had walked out of my life for good. I was dreading the day I would receive the divorce papers with Stefan’s signature on them. I knew I wouldn’t be able to sign them. “I love Stefan,” I answered immediately, “and I want to be with him more than anything, but…” “But what?” pressed Father. “It’s Dimitri,” I went on. “In spite of my marriage to Stefan, I couldn’t help but fall for him. I needed someone like him desperately when Stefan was under Tatia’s compulsion.” I got up from the couch and angrily stormed out of my father’s house. Wiping away the last of my tears. I had never cried so much in my life. I mean, I wasn’t entirely dependent on men. I could hold my own in any given situation. All I wanted was to gain Stefan’s forgiveness and love. I headed to his—no, our—''residence and went inside. “Stefan?” I called. “Hello?” No answer. Was he upstairs? I went upstairs; he wasn’t there. I knew I shouldn’t be here, but I didn’t care. Although Stefan most likely despised me now, we were still married. I had a right to be in our home. My eye caught the sight of an open drawer in his desk. Curious, I went over to his desk and began rummaging through the drawer when I found a stack of envelopes. I broke the rubber hand holding them together and I tore open the first envelope. It was a letter. ''My dearest Juliet, '' ''I never believed the day would come when I lose you. For the longest time, I believed we were written in the stars and destined to be together…but fate works in mysterious ways. Living without you has been one of the hardest things I have done in my lifetime. I miss you. I miss your touch, your warm smile, the tenderness of your lips on mine. You have always held a special place in my heart, Juliet. There's this place in me where your fingerprints still rest, your kisses still linger, and your whispers softly echo. It's the place where a part of you will forever be a part of me. Do you remember when we first met? You were, and still are, more beautiful than the sun that sets as I write this letter. '' ''A part of me believes you are still out there, and I hope more than anything that is true. I can’t live my life knowing that you will never return to me. Have we shared our last kiss? Have we made love for the last time? Will we ever see each other again? You are my other half, my true love and soulmate. If you die, a part of me will die with you and I know the pain will be too much to bear. I don’t know if I could live with that pain. Please, Juliet. Come back to me. '' ''I love you, '' ''Stefan '' With a jolt, I realized he had written this when I had been kidnapped by the Alchemists. My heart squeezed by how deep this love letter was. Stefan had poured his heart out completely. I began to read another letter, unable to help my curiousity. ''My sweet Juliet, '' ''I write this in the candelight in the very room where we first made love, sitting in our bed. I can vividly remember how beautiful and at peace you were that night. I wish I could hold you in my arms again, to feel your bare skin on mine, to gaze into your beautiful brown eyes and draw your lips to mine in a tender, loving and passionate kiss. I want to run my hands through your beautiful, dark brown hair, softer than silk. I love you so much that it hurts. Every moment when we are not together, I yearn for your presence. You complete me. I never knew what it truly meant to love someone until I met you. I love you, and I will love you until the end of time. '' I was surprised to find instead of another paragraph, there was a poem. I continued reading, my heart painfully aching for Stefan and his love. ''As I held her in my embrace Her arms wrapped around me Her warm body against mine Her hands caressing me I felt a sweet sensation A sensation my body never felt I felt her soft kisses and tongue For it was an angel to me God dealt Starting at the top of my ear My body shivered with bliss Slowly moving down to my neck We sat on the bed and began to kiss My hands wrapped around her waist Then slowly kissed her silky skin Softly moving to those succulent breasts My body tingled, my mind began to spin Soon making love so pure and sweet It had never felt so right A distant, hidden fantasy of her Never imagined it would happen that night '' My heart melted. I knew my husband was a passionate, loving man, but I hadn’t known this side of him at all. He had written several love letters to me, letters that he had never sent, and a poem about making love to me. I was clueless as to why he had never sent them to me, but I kept reading, my heart racing. ''I have always dreamed of the night when I would hold you in my arms and never let go, and I wish I could do so forever, but I realize now that my desires are that of a man who dreams of peace in a war-torn world. I love you so much, Juliet, but I need to let you go and move on. You are gone, and I need to let you go. I will always love you. '' ''I’ll be seeing you, '' ''Stefan '' “What the fuck are you doing?” Stefan demanded. Startled, I jumped out of my skin. He was standing in the doorway, arms crossed and clearly angry. “I-I’m sorry!” I stammered, hastily putting the stack of letters back together and closing the drawer. “I was looking for you. I thought you would be up here, but when I saw that the drawer was open, I couldn’t help but see what was inside.” I was babbling nervously. I knew he was angry with me for having an affair, but reading his letters was an invasion of privacy. “Well, you found me, Juliet,” he said evenly. “Why are you here?” “Stefan, could you just hear me out?” I asked. “I know you’re upset with me about Dimitri, but—” “If you came here to apologize about your affair, you’re wasting your breath and my time,” my husband said icily. “Now ''get the hell out of my house.” “Your house?” I scoffed. “Whether you like it or not, we are still married. I still have a right to live here with you.” “No, you don’t,” he argued. “Our marriage is over. What we once shared is gone. I’ve moved on, Juliet, but then again, you already have moved on.” “Moved on?” I practically shrieked. “Stefan, how can I move on from you? Why the fucking hell should I?! I love you, and you love me!” I held up my hand with my wedding ring to prove my point. “That changes absolutely nothing about what you did,” Stefan retorted. “And honestly, part of me just wants to find the words to hurt you, the same way you hurt me.” “I am ''hurting,” I confessed. “Because I had sex with another man?” he jeered. “Oh wait, that was you.” “Stefan!” I cried. “You know I didn’t mean to fall in love with Dimitri. It. Just. Happened. I don’t understand why you are making such a big deal about this! You said that you didn’t love me anymore.” “Just because I said that I didn’t love you anymore doesn’t mean that I still don’t care about you,” Stefan said. My love for him taking over, I reached up and held his face in my hands. I passionately kissed him, putting all of my hurt, fury and heartbreak into the kiss. He almost immediately pulled away from me, stepping out of my reach. Had I hurt him that much? “Stefan, please. Is there anything I can do?” I asked, hating the pleading tone in my voice. I wanted so much to make things right again. I hated myself for causing him to feel this way. I’d been the one to fall in love with another; he hadn’t. He’d had an affair when I’d been held captive by the Alchemists for two centuries and declared dead by the authorities. This was different. I had sworn to never fall for another man after falling in love with Stefan, and I had broken that promise. I had not only fallen for Dimitri, but I’d made love with him twice already. I regretted every single moment of it. I regretted falling in love with Dimitri more than anything, let alone having an affair with him. “No, there isn’t,” he answered bitterly. “There is absolutely nothing you can do. What you did, Juliet, is unforgivable.” ''What you did, Juliet, is unforgivable. Those words rang through my head. Did he truly mean what he said? Would he never forgive me for what I’d done? “You don’t mean that,” I said, shocked by his words. “Yes, I do,” my husband countered solemnly. “I mean every word of it. Now, please, Juliet, get out of my house. I don’t want you here.” He wasn’t as angry as before. His voice was calm, and almost sad. I walked out of the room, but I turned around, giving him one last gaze. “Stefan, I love you,” I whispered. “Don’t ever doubt that.” With that, I turned and walked out of the room. I could have sworn I heard Stefan say quietly, “Juliet…” I headed to Town Square, pondering about my marriage. As much as I wanted my husband to forgive me and love me again, I knew I was clinging on to false hope. I could see how hurt he was by my betrayal, and it killed me inside to know that I had caused him that pain. I put a hand to my abdomen, and let a single tear fall down my cheek. How could Stefan and I raise Sadira, our unborn daughter, if our marriage was on the verge of collapse? Any day now, I would be faced with divorce papers, papers I refused to sign. My thoughts were interrupted when I felt a sudden nudge underneath my hand. Holy shit. Was that a kick? I wanted so badly to call Stefan and tell him about this new development in my pregnancy, but would he even care? All of his faith in me had been shattered the moment I had confessed to falling in love with Dimitri. He had been so hurt and angry, and I never wanted to see him like that again. The way he had looked at me earlier was almost as if I were a complete stranger to him, rather than his lover and wife. I missed him; I missed everything about him. I missed the way he once looked at me, like I was the most beautiful woman in the world. I missed his warm, loving touch and how he would take me in his arms and tell me everything would be okay and that he loved me. I loved him so much that my chest ached. If anything was certain, it was that I would ''always ''love Stefan. Although I loved Dimitri and was still hurting over how he had abandoned me, I knew that my feelings for him would fade over time. My thoughts were interrupted by a searing pain that shot through me, and I couldn’t swallow my scream of agony. I crumpled to the ground, writhing in pain. What the hell was going on? Those were my last thoughts before everything went black. I regained consciousness in a bright room, hooked up to IV tubes and a heart monitor. I was surprised to see my father sitting by me, tense and worried. “Father?” I groaned. “What happened?” “You went into labor, Juliet,” he answered. “They were forced to give you a c-section. You’ve been unconscious for four days, but your child is unharmed.” “Rose,” I said. “Her name is Rose.” “What a beautiful name,” my father mused. “Father…where is Stefan?” I asked. “He should be—” I was cut off by one of the nurses walking in, carrying Sadira. “Your daughter is beautiful and completely healthy,” the nurse said, gently giving her to me. She left the room, leaving us alone. “Stefan is on his way right now,” he told me. “Don’t worry.” “I’m surprised he’s even coming,” I mused almost sourly, gazing at Rose. She resembled me in so many ways, yet had some of her father’s traits. Her hair was such a deep brown that it appeared to be black, and she had chocolate brown eyes, a trait that both Stefan and I shared. Rose’s skin complexion was the same color as the inside of an almond, matching that of her father. I was surprised to see that she was already growing hair, looking as if she were a few months old rather than days. “She’s so beautiful,” I murmured. “She looks so much like Stefan.” “Can I hold her?” my father asked me. “Sure you can,” I responded. I gently handed my daughter to Father, and he held her in his arms, cooing and talking to her, just as Stefan entered the room. “Hi, Juliet, Andrew,” he said, standing in the doorway. I knew he was trying to keep a distance from me, rather than his daughter. “Stefan, don’t you want to see Rose?” I inquired. “Yes, of course I do,” my husband countered, and my father gave him to her before leaving the room. He whispered words of love to his daughter, and I couldn’t help but feel a surge of jealousy. I knew it was wrong of me to feel that way, but I couldn’t help it. Rose had Stefan’s love, while I didn’t. For all I knew, I was nothing to him now. “She resembles you so much, Juliet,” he said tenderly. “She has your eyes.” “Stefan,” I began, “are we going to keep on doing this?” “Keep on doing what?” pressed my husband. “You know what,” I said angrily. “Do you want our daughter to be living with divorced parents?” “No, the hell I don’t,” he retorted, keeping himself calm as to not upset our baby. “I want Sadira to have the best childhood as possible.” “Well, at least that is something we agree on,” I said sourly. “The thing is, Stefan, I love you. I know you disagree with me after what happened with Dimitri, but—” “No, Juliet,” interrupted Stefan. “I don’t want to do this right now. I really don’t. All I came her for was to see my daughter, not to fight with you.” “You really don’t give a shit about this marriage, do you?” I accused him. “You’ve been treating ''me ''like shit ever since I told you the truth about Dimitri.” Unlike him, I wasn’t holding back my anger and heartbreak. It was all too much to bottle up and keep inside. “I’m your wife. You can’t keep treating me like this forever! Don’t you even care about me anymore, Stefan?!” “You believe I don’t care about you?” he questioned, taken by surprise by my accusation. “I honestly don’t know what the fuck to believe these days,” I snapped. “You say that you don’t love me anymore, yet when I show up in the hospital unconscious you come rushing over here.” “Juliet, I may not love you anymore but I still care for you,” he said. “I love you, but in a different way. I don’t love you roman—” “Stop, Stefan, just stop,” I interrupted, putting a hand up as if I could physically silence him. “Stop giving me the ‘I don’t love you anymore’ bullshit. Deep down inside, you still love me and you know it. You just won’t admit it!” ‘You know what, I’m not doing this with you,” my husband snapped, giving Rose back to me. “I’m out of here.” He stormed out of the room, and it took all of my self-control not to burst into tears. After a few moments, I changed back into my clothes and checked out of the hospital. “Checking out already?” Father asked. I nodded. “I know I’m okay, as is Rose,” I said. “Look, Stefan and I are going through a tough time right now and I was wondering if you could take care of Rose for some time. I don’t want her to be in a very dark atmosphere.” “Sure, of course,” he answered, taking her in his arms. “I’ll let you know if anything comes up, Juliet.” “Thank you so much,” I told him. “Not a problem,” my father said warmly, and he departed. I wanted to spend some more time with Khadijah, but I didn’t want her around Stefan and me since our marriage was falling apart. It wouldn’t be good for her. I wanted to make amends with my husband before we could become a family again. I headed back to Stefan’s place and entered to hear the sounds of laughter. Laughter? Oh my God. I saw Stefan and another woman come down the stairs. Stefan was clad in only his jeans, while she was in shorts and a black camisole. She had long, black hair that reached her waist and light blue eyes. Her figure was slim, and she appeared to be at least 19 years-old. “Oh, Stefan,” she purred, drawing close to him. “Can’t I just spend the night with you? I love the way you make me feel, especially when you touch and kiss me.” He was about to respond when she silenced him with a deep, passionate kiss. “Get the hell out of my house,” I snapped. She and Stefan jumped apart guiltily, and she approached me. “And who do you think you are?” she snarled. “Oh, Stefan didn’t tell you?” I retorted. “I’m Juliet, his wife. Who the hell do you think you are?” “My name’s Katharina de Lesseps,” she responded. “You really shouldn’t fuck around with me, you fucking whore. I’m a 2,000 year old vampire. You’re just a pathetic dhampir.” “Oh, I’m sorry. I don’t speak whore bitch,” I shot back. Katharina grabbed me by the throat, slamming me into the wall. “KATHARINA!” Stefan shrieked. “Let her go!” “Not yet, Stefan,” she said. She turned her attention to me. “Let’s get this straight, Juliet. Stefan loves me, and only me. He told me so while making love to me. You are nothing but a worthless piece of shit to him. If you try to tear us apart, I will kill you.” “Bullshit,” I choked out, and she threw me to the floor. Stefan rushed to my aid and stepped protectively in front of me. “Stop this now, Katharina,” he ordered. “Juliet hasn’t done any harm to you or I.” Katharina let out a feral snarl. “Actually, get out.” “Excuse me?!” demanded Katharina. “Get out,” my husband repeated. “Now.” Katharina stormed out of the house, shooting me an icy glare on the way out. He helped me to my feet, and he stroked my cheek with his thumb. “Are you okay, Juliet?” “I don’t know,” I said honestly. He put his hand down after a few moments, listening intently. “Look, Stefan, I know you love Katharina now, but could you be honest with me for a second?” “Yes,” he answered gently. “Do you love Katharina?” I asked. “I need to know the truth.” “No, I don’t love her,” he confessed. I was absolutely shocked; if he didn’t love her, then did this mean that he still loved me? “To be honest with you, Juliet, I don’t think I have the strength to love another woman. I tried to love someone else, but I just can’t.” He gazed deeply into my eyes, and I wanted him to kiss me. “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you.” “Neither have I,” I whispered. I pressed my hand over his heart, and closed my eyes just as he began to tilt his head down. Our lips were only inches away from meeting when he suddenly said, “No. I can’t.” I jerked back in surprise. “What do you mean?” I queried. He looked away from me and I took his face in my hands, making him look at me. “Stefan, talk to me!” “Juliet, I can’t do this because of Dimitri,” he told me. “How am I supposed to know if you still love him?” “I love you,” I said firmly, “and only you, but do you love me?” He stepped out of my reach, as if my question had offended him. “To be honest,” he began, “I don’t know anymore. I thought my love for you had faded, but sometimes, it just all comes rushing back to me and I want to kiss you and make love to you.” “What’s stopping you?” I asked quietly. Before he could answer, I pressed my lips to his, wrapping my rms around him. I half-expected him to pull away, but he didn’t. Stefan held my face in his hands and pressed me against the wall. We disengaged briefly so I could take off my shirt before we kissed again. He planted kisses all over me, beginning at my ear and going down before kissing me again. However, in the midst of our passion, he pulled away from me. “I can’t do this,” Stefan said suddenly. “What do you mean?” I asked. “You know what I mean,” he responded evenly. “Please, Juliet. I can’t do this right now. Please, just…just go.” I picked up my shirt off the ground and donned it again, trying to resist the urge to kiss him again. “Okay, fine,” I said indifferently. “Look, Stefan. I know you’re hurt and angry, and I understand that, but you can’t keep on pushing me away like this. I’ll see you later.” I left the house, and was surprised when I heard Stefan call out my name. “Juliet, wait!” he cried. I turned around to face him and he drew near to me. “Do you want to stay the night? It feels wrong to kick my wife out of the house to live on the streets like a homeless person.” “Yes, yes, of course!” I practically exclaimed. If it weren’t for the shit going on in our marriage, I would have tackled him to the ground and kissed him. I figured that we were making steady progress, as I thought he would have ordered me out of the house as he’d been doing lately. We went back inside, and I was glad we didn’t have to deal with Katharina and her hostility towards me and possessiveness towards Stefan. Stefan went upstairs and motioned for me to follow him. We headed to his bedroom and sat down on his bed. “Juliet,” he began. “Why did you do it?” “Do what?” I inquired. “Fall for Dimitri.” “I didn’t mean to fall in love with him,” I explained. “Stefan, you were compelled by an Original and you hurt me in ways you can’t even imagine. You told me you didn’t love me anymore, and you did terrible things to me, me and Dimitri, but you need to learn to forgive yourself. I forgive you, Stefan. You weren’t yourself, but if you want us to be together again, you have to forgive yourself for what you did.” “I don’t even know if I want us to be together anymore,” he murmured. I reached for his hands, and he didn’t jerk out of my reach. “I understand that you’re in a very dark place right now,” I said gently, “but you need to let me in. I want to help you get through this. I made a promise to stick by you for better and for worse, and I’m keeping that promise.” “Why are you doing this, Juliet?” Stefan asked. “I’m doing this because I love you,” I answered, gazing deeply into his eyes. He shook his head and stood up, walking out of the room. Instead of leaving, he leaned on the doorframe. “Would you just stop it?” he exploded. “Stop what?” I demanded. “I’m just trying to help you!” “Well, stop trying!” he retorted. “This is my fight, not yours!” “Oh, since when were you alone in all of this?” I shot back, shooting to my feet. “You don’t have to do any of this alone!” “Yeah, well, I want to!” my husband spat. He drew towards me, and our faces were only inches away. The tension between us was so strong that it could have shimmered in the air. “Juliet, please just let me do this on my own.” His voice wasn’t angry, but calm and somewhat sad now. “I need to do this alone. Please.” I half-expected him to order me out of the house, but he didn’t. I wanted to tell him that he couldn’t do this alone and that I loved him and that I was sorry, but I knew it wouldn’t help matters. “Okay,” I said quietly. I tore my eyes away from Stefan, and he said, “I know you’re upset, and you have a right to be, but this is something I need to do alone.” “Is it?” I pressed. He nodded, gently taking my face in his hands. I didn’t even realize I’d been crying until he wiped away a tear with his thumb. “You can’t imagine what it is I’m going through right now, Juliet,” he whispered. “The guilt is overwhelming, sometimes. I can’t comprehend the fact that I wanted to hurt you.” “Stefan, you weren’t yourself,” I explained. “I know you didn’t mean any of it.” I met his eyes. “You need to understand that.” There was a silence between us for several long moments. Stefan ran a hand through my hair, and my body almost immediately reacted to his touch. I wanted him to make love to me more than anything, but I wasn’t sure if his feelings for me were still there. Yes, he had reciprocated my kiss earlier and almost made love to me but he’d stopped in the peak of our passion for each other. It was almost as if his pain over my affair with Dimitri had stopped him. There was a knock at the door, and Stefan and I went downstairs to answer it. My husband opened it to reveal my father, holding Rose in his arms. “Hey, Stefan, Juliet,” he said. “Momma!” Rose chirped, reaching out to me. “Dadda!” Father gave her to me, and I asked, “She can talk already?” “Juliet, she’s a dhampir,” Father told me. “She’ll grow until she is 19 years of age. Once she reaches her teenage years, which should be in a matter of weeks, she will age like a regular human and stop aging once she reaches the age of 19.” “Andrew, why are you taking care of Rose?” Stefan inquired. “She’s my daughter, not yours.” “Juliet asked me to,” he answered. “She thought it was best that Rose be raised in a loving atmosphere rather than be living in a household with you two trying to repair your marriage.” Stefan didn’t have anything to say to this, and I could sense he agreed with me. “Hey, Juliet, can I talk to you in private?” he queried. “Sure, yeah,” I agreed, and a pit formed in my stomach. What was this about?